Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Where Have I Been?

Is it Halloween already? It seems like just yesterday, August 18, 2012, I was saying my prayers in a nosediving air plane. It’s been nearly two months since that incident. I apologize to you, the one or two web surfers who happen upon this web page. I promise to be more consistent. Oh yeah, I also promise that the check is in the mail.

Halloween 2012 is one to remember on the east side of North America.  Superfreak Sandy cut a deadly swath through the eastern seaboard and into southern Ontario. Here in Toronto, a woman died after being struck by a wayward Staples sign. Apparently she was on her way to the store to buy batteries. Somebody should Staples together the balls of whoever neglected to fix that sign months ago.

Every once in awhile, we are shaken to the core and humbled by the elements. Control? IPhone 5 isn’t a decent makeshift paddle. The latest IPad is a lousy floatation device. Your $270 hair cut isn’t behaving in the gale force winds. Drat. Must take that up with the stylist. In an second, we could be taken out by a century tree, slathered like butter.
Note to self.

This is all to say Happy Halloween.

I actually bought and carved a pumpkin. Anything requiring manual dexterity on my part becomes a “Charlie Brown” – that is to say, I carved a “Charlie Brown” pumpkin,  I do “Charlie Brown” laundry,   I make “Charlie Brown” goulash.  I am going to give the kid upstairs some Halloween candy, for the first time. The child is now seven. I have seen her grow up in front of my eyes. For the first six and three-quarter years of her life, she has said nothing to me. It’s only in the last month she's looked at me. Maybe her parents said, “That lady who lives on the second floor has just turned 50. It would be nice if you acknowledged her. She is all alone.”  Me, I love a mute kid.

Yes, Halloween is subdued this year. It’s anti-climactic. No witch, goblin or zombie is as scary as Mother Nature in menopause. Her hormones are out of whack, and tons of greenhouse gases spewed every minute don't help. We’ve pissed off Ma with our human progress.

FYI – I am one of the co-writers of  this year’s pantomime hitting the Elgin Theatre in Toronto, November-January, the Ross Petty Production of “Snow White and 007.”

 That is my self-promotion for the year.